Sweetest Downfall
by XanderB
Summary: Duo reflects on his and Heero's relationship and how the whole thing started, the events leading to their falling in love.


Sweetest Downfall

Warnings: yaoi, shonen-ai, lemon, some slight Relena bashing, mentions of violence, etc.

Pairings: I think it's obvious.

Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam wing, god I wish I did. Nor do I own the song used in the making of this fic, it belongs soully to Regina Spektor.

(Duo)

Heero Yuy. Heero Yuy, the beautifully frozen Japanese boy. The first time I saw him, I already knew he'd probably be the death of me. He was so beautiful, so cold, and so deadly. Heero was my first, my first everything. Love, lay, obsession, heartbreak, everything. I remember writing page after page about him in my journal, whenever I got to keep one during the war. I remember when we first met how his hair obscured those brilliant blue eyes of his. That hair was so much longer then.

You are my sweetest downfall

I loved you first, I loved you first

Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth

I have to go, I have to go

Your hair was long when we first met

(flashback)

Heero gazed down at me with those beautiful Prussian eyes. I looked up at him and tugged the long bangs hanging down, nearly tickling my nose. Heero's eyes at that time and any other time we'd been together like this were not those of a killer or even a soldier, but the eyes of a teenager who only cared to look into my eyes forever. If there hadn't been a war going on we might have done just that. We laid together in the grass, spending what little precious time together we could.

"Heero, you'll have to cut this eventually or it'll get in the way." I smiled and twirled the strands between my fingers once again. Heero smirked and leaned down to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. His lips were soft, they always were. I smiled as his hands found their way to my hips, sliding under my shirt slightly, his fingertips calloused.

(End Flashback)

Samson went back to bed

Not much hair left on his head

He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed

And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us

The bible didn't mention us, not even once

The war seemed to last forever and we wondered if we'd ever have peace and freedom from these obligations that were seeming more and more like shackles on our wrists. God didn't seem to be with us or at least if he was, he wasn't making his presence known. Heero and I didn't spend much time together near the end when it was really getting bad. He just slept whenever he had a small period of down time. I missed him then. I didn't know if he missed me, but it didn't matter. It was bittersweet anticipation, anxiety when I didn't know if he'd be back or not from his next mission, but he always seemed to make it back to me.

Then right before the end, we finally got to be together again. We could finally hide ourselves away from the world and the war for just a little while. Heero and I came home from a mission and we actually got to have a few days down time to recuperate. That was the first time we ever spent the night together. The stars hung above us, planets and satellites spinning out in the depths of space while we laid sprawled beneath them together. Heero's fingertips brushed my hand and I looked at him. He was looking at me too. I smiled and so did he.

You are my sweetest downfall

I loved you first , I loved you first

Beneath the stars came falling on our heads

But there just soft light, there just soft light

Your hair was long when we first met

The stars were so close reflected in Heero's eyes. I watched him in the dim lighting from the stars and moons. He was looking down at me for moments lasting a lifetime before he finally leaned in to kiss me. His tongue was quick to press through my lips when I let them open slightly and Heero's hands didn't wait long to wander. It was the first time he'd ever been so desperate in his movements. It was like he was afraid that this was the last time we'd ever be able to be with each other. And he could've been right. His rough palms smoothed up my chest under my shirt as his lips made their way to my neck and collar bone. I couldn't hold in the gasps and moans. It felt too good, too real. My arms were around him and my hands weren't idle. They slid up his bare back, the muscles shivering beneath my touches. His kisses became more insistent and bold. Then I felt it, that telltale hardness of an erection pressing into my thigh not entirely uncomfortably. I felt myself harden more in response, pressing up against Heero, craving some sort of friction. I finally broke us apart, breathing heavily. Heero looked down at me in confused lust. I smiled.

"Heero, let's go inside." I spoke softer than I ever remember speaking before and Heero nodded slowly, moving to allow me to stand up. My erection throbbed painfully in the confines of my tight jeans. I held out a hand to help Heero up to his feet. He took it and was wrapped around me and kissing me again before I knew what hit me. I smiled and tried to lead us towards the patio doors. We finally made it through the doors and into our shared room. Heero's mouth was still attached to mine as if he'd spiral down into nothing if he let go. He was tugging my shirt from my pants and undoing the button and zipper on my dark faded jeans before we even reached the bed. I let him.

Samson came to my bed

Told me that my hair was red

He told me i was beautiful and came into my bed

Oh I cut his hair myself one night

A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light

And he told me that I'd done alright

and kissed me 'til the morning light, the morning light

and he kissed me 'til the morning light

We should have waited until we were older like adults always warned, but we didn't think they knew what they were talking about. We laid together in my bed, kissing and touching on instinct. Our hands roamed freely over each other's bodies. We didn't need to speak or ask permission, we already knew the answer was yes. We'd known since the first time we'd kissed that the answer would always be yes. We tried not to rush, we tried to be calm and gentle together. It was like there was nothing else around us, no war, no death, no destruction, just him and I.

Heero's hand slid up my bare chest, lingering to tease dusky pink nipples. I moaned and let my own palms ease down Heero's back to his hips and pressed him down onto me, grinding our hardness together. He gasped into my mouth and ground down onto me harder. I smiled and let Heero push his tongue into my mouth eagerly. He was in control. We both knew he would be. We both knew he'd be inside me and not the other way around. It was an unacknowledged agreement that we'd come to. I didn't mind. Heero was my everything after all.

I ran fingertips over Heero's dark nipples, pinching them lightly. He moaned and arched into my touches. I licked his neck and bit it gently, sucking. I wanted him to know that he was mine too. I wanted him to remember me whenever he saw the mark in the next few days. Heero moved away from me, letting me know with a look what he was doing. He was going to get something to make it easier. I waited nervously, I felt foolish and young. Funny how I got scared and insecure when I was about to lose my virginity, but I was calm and collected when faced with murder and death. I fought the urge to giggle in my nervousness. Heero returned after a few minutes with baby oil in one hand. He searched my eyes, probably catching the obvious fear there.

I smiled reassuringly, like I knew what I was doing, when really I had no fucking clue what was really about to happen. Heero was warm and hard above me, his body laying nearly completely over my own. I smiled a tiny smile up at him as he reached to spread some of the odd-smelling oil onto his fingers. Those long, agile fingers, rough and strong pushed insistently at my entrance. I thought I might die. This was it. There was no turning back. I suddenly couldn't relax, my breathing erratic. Heero stilled his movements and reached up to touch my hair soothingly. He spoke then.

"I never realized how much red you have in your hair." he'd said thoughtfully as he took a piece and weaved it between a few of his fingers. I smiled and felt myself relax ever so slightly. Heero felt it too and pressed a fingertip into me gently. I bit my lip at the strange burning that the intrusion caused. Heero continued to talk, to distract.

"You are so beautiful Duo. You're like no one else I've ever met. You're like some kind of dream, some kind of fantasy my mind conjured up for comfort, but you're so much more than that. You're real. I don't know what to describe you as. You stop me from seeing the mission as everything. You changed my existence to something true. You made me real too. You made me feel. You are my sweetest downfall Duo." By then, he'd been able to press two almost three fingers into me without my knowledge. He'd never talked to me like that before. It was a confession. His sweetest downfall. He didn't know that he was mine as well. I jumped as Heero's index finger pressed something deep inside me. It felt so incredible, I couldn't hold back the cry of pleasure. Heero smiled and hit that spot again. I pressed myself back against his fingers.

He thrust them in and out slowly, driving me mad with bliss and want. Finally, he took them out of me and I missed them more than I expected. He took more oil into his hand and slid it up and down his shaft. I panted watching him touch himself. Then he was towering over me once again. I was nervous again, but Heero was kissing me, my neck and sucking, marking me as his as he pushed the tip of his erection into my tight body. It hurt, more than I ever thought it might. Heero was slow, patient as he waited for me to adjust to the new pain. It didn't last long, the pain I mean. Heero stayed still until I moved, letting him know he could move. He was actually shaking with the effort of staying completely still within me.

His thrusts were gentle and deliberate in their slowness as he watched me for signs of pain. There weren't any. I wrapped myself around him, molding us together. One. And we were one in that moment. No one could possibly ever know what Heero was really like under all that training, under all that brutality. No one could know how he was tender and compassionate and humane. Heero was human and he was capable of love, of loneliness, of desire. And all of them were directed at me. I held him as he began to pump into me harder. I ignored whatever pain he caused as he did, letting tears streak my flushed face as I listened to the quiet whispers of his confessions.

"Duo, I don't know what will happen tomorrow. There could be another mission. We could die. You could. Or I could. What will we do? There's so much riding on us, on our victory. So many lives are hanging, waiting for our rescue, our escape. But all I want to think about is you. I don't want to think of them, any of them. They don't matter, not as much as you." His voice was a rushed whisper in my ear as he shoved into me harder, faster, desperately searching for release. I gave it to him, pushing back against him harshly. He burned inside of me and I longed to stay this way for eternity just to keep him from the insanity of the real world. My breathing was quick and my moans filled the room. I felt myself reaching the edge and plummeting from it. I came hard between our bodies, moaning his name and dragging my nails down his shoulders, letting him know this was real and I understood. He pistoned into me savagely and I heard it right as he filled me urgently with passionate seed.

"You are my everything." My eyes closed and we stayed that way, suspended in our own reality for hours it seemed.

Finally, Heero moved, pulling himself out of me reluctantly. I moaned. I didn't want him to leave me. He smiled and kissed me before going into the bathroom. I heard the water run vaguely and then I felt cool wetness as Heero ran a soaked towel over my stomach and thighs. I knew he was checking for damage. He hadn't done any. I smiled satedly. I love you, I thought, too afraid to say it out loud. He laid next to me, our faces scant inches apart. His long bangs hung in jagged shards against his forehead. I smiled and played with one of the long chunks. Heero blew out a sigh.

"You really want me to cut it don't you?" he asked. I laughed.

"You just need to trim it, that's all." I told him, tugging on the strands between my fingertips. He smiled suddenly.

"Cut it for me." I stared at him in shocked silence.

"W-What?!" I sputtered finally. Heero just grinned at me and reached into the bedside drawer, retrieving a pair of dull scissors. He turned on the lamp, yellow light casting shadows along the walls. I shook my head.

"I don't know how to cut hair." I said, putting my hands up defensively. Heero just kept smiling and leaned over to press the pair of scissors into my open palm. My eyes widened. He was serious. He wanted me to do this, to cut it for real. I swallowed as Heero knelt down in front of me. I licked dry lips and slid up closer so I could reach his head properly. Heero sat completely still, trusting me completely. I trembled as I reached for his thick bangs. I trimmed my own all the time, but trimming someone else's was completely different. Heero didn't even twitch as I used the dull scissors to cut off a good two inches from the first bang. My hands trembled as I continued to snip the bangs framing Heero's face. He closed his eyes.

Finally, after at least a good half hour, I laid the ancient

scissors back onto the nightstand and looked at Heero. It didn't look so bad to me, but it was Heero who's opinion mattered. He stood and wandered over to the large, full-length mirror hanging on the closet door. He was silent for a long moment as he studied the hair cut. I started to get a bit nervous. Heero's fingers reached up to brush at the shortened strands.

Then he turned to me. His eyes were dark and I was a little scared. I couldn't read the emotions running through those eyes. He walked closer once again, slowly.

"How do you like it?" I asked, trying hard to keep the nervousness out of my voice as I spoke. Heero seemed to notice though, despite my efforts to keep it hidden. Heero smiled softly.

"It's fine Duo. I didn't know you could handle scissors so well." He said in a voice barely readable. I watched him as he came closer, pressing me back onto the bed once again. I smiled as he leaned to kiss me passionately again. His hands didn't wait to explore once again. We didn't fall into slumber until dawn was creeping into the sky. And all I could think was, I love him, oh god I love him.

Samson came back to bed

not much hair left on his head

Ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed

Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down

Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one

And history books forgot about us

And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

It's funny. Heero and I haven't seen each other since then, that night. We went on separate missions the day after and we haven't seen each other in the six months that the war's been over. He was with Relena, helping her settle things over in her side of the world. I still loved him. I missed him and when the invitation to the celebration of the end of war and the beginning of peace party Relena was throwing came in the mail, I jumped at the chance to see him again. I'd always been under the impression that Relena didn't particularly like me. I had no idea why and frankly I didn't really care. I wasn't going to the party to see her anyway.

She didn't prove my impressions wrong. Sure, she was civil and polite, but you could hear the disdain in her voice whenever she was obligated to speak in my general direction. Heero was on her arm as expected. I watched them move around the room, speaking to all the diplomats. I felt out of place at this shindig. A lowly boy from L2 at a castle filled with rich folks wasn't really what I wanted to be.

Relena was all over Heero, fawning. Heero seemed unfazed. Didn't she know that I loved him first? Didn't she know that he loved me too? I tried not to glare at her too much as she paraded Heero around the room as if he were a prized pony. I shook my head. Heero looked my way and before I knew it, he was walking towards me. I smiled. Relena rushed after him. He didn't stop.

I stood and moved a step closer to Heero. Heero closed the distance between us, hugging me. I closed my eyes, his scent wafting around me. He smelled so good, gun powder and vanilla. Relena gave a disgusted look that was not very becoming of her. I smiled, smirked really as Heero kept holding me, his hand stroking my hair.

He let me go and looked into my eyes. I looked into his.

Relena was getting angry. I could hear her foot tapping rapidly in her irritation. I just kept smiling as I heard Heero whisper into my ear.

"Meet me later tonight. In my suite. Number 01." I smiled. How fitting. I'd meet him. I nodded. Relena huffed. Heero licked my ear and then disappeared. My face was hot and so was Heero's tongue. I loved him.

Heero left with Relena. He danced with her and his eyes didn't drift to me for the rest of the night. I didn't mind because I already knew I was the one in his mind. I was the one in his heart and I would be the one to be in his bed once again. And as Relena batted her eyes at him, I smirked, always knowing what was the truth.

You are my sweetest downfall

I loved you first

Owari

I may or may not write a sequel to this fic, depending on the reviews I receive. Let me know what you want. I am the slave of the fans. smiles By the way the song used in this fic is by Regina Spektor, it's called, 'Samson', download it, you might be surprised. R&R.

Angel


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